4 Months 4 Weeks: Weaning

First of all, my baby is almost 5 months, Wow!
Where did the time go????  My iphone is now full of her pictures.  I was looking at pictures when she was born and the first months.  She has changed so much and I cannot remember how small she was because she is pretty big now!

Lately, I am hearing "Tick..tack...tick...tack"
Yes, weaning off breastfeeding.  I am getting so closed to the target 6 month mark.  I know it's absolutely NOT to go cold turkey on this one.  The process has to go gradually because of the discomfort I will be experiencing as I wean off.  Like many other women, I am having a hard time on this.  I wish my body decided that it was about time to dry out, so my production goes down.  Not a bit....I am currently pumping 5 sessions and producing about 27 oz, which covers Haley's daily milk intake.

Here are the thoughts I am struggling...

- Some women have troubles with their production and do as much as they can to keep or increase their milk supply but I am PURPOSELY going to dry out my milk production.
- Once it's gone, it is GONE.  Even though I could never "breast-feed" my baby, I could still provide my liquid gold to my baby and she has grown so much.

As much as I complain about pumping / waking up at night to pump, it's a big transition from my routine.  I felt really connected to and responsible for my baby girl by feeding my milk.  If I wasn't over 35, didn't have IF issue and didn't want another kid, I probably would have try BF as long as I could.  We want to start TTC #2.  We are assuming it will take sometimes for me to get pregnant or have to go through a fertility treatment again, so we cannot wait too long.  I have about a month to wean off breast milk and I am hoping I can keep thinking about all the positive things this will bring to us.

I need to write down all the positives this will bring to overcome my anxiety.

• A sibling for Haley!!
• Sleeping through the night (Not the baby, MEEEEE!)
• No need to be glued to the black pumping bag.
• No more washing pumping parts.
• I can drink!  
• I can do high impact exercise such as running.  
• No need for padding. 
• I can wear my old cute bras.

I reduced one lunch session from today, so I will be pumping only 4 times and I will reduce more as the week go.  Please please please let the process go smooth without feeling too much guilt.  

4 Months & 2 Weeks: Baptism and Many Other Things

I am so past due for my blog post and my baby is already 4 months!

Baptism
I am proud to announce my little Christian baby :)  A decision on choosing god parents were not easy, but we choose my sister in law and her DH.  She was so thrilled to be a god mother, so I hope they can help Haley in her christian faith.  The baptism went really well and she did amazing.  I was stressed out about it because so many things went wrong....the baptism time changed due to the church festival, a cater showed up with his food a week before the party, etc, but many people showed up for her and I say the ceremony and the party was success!!

Baby Classes
We signed up for a music & gymboree classes!!  It's so nice to find a class where we can do it together.  The music class is a lot of fun and I can already sing some of their songs!  I try to play the music CD while we are in the car, so I am wondering if H recognizes some by now.  There are so many different gymboree classes offered, but unfortunately, the one for babies is offered during weekday and I am at work, so we have been taking a family one which consists of all age range.  I met some moms there, but the class size is too big and not really suitable for a baby, so I hope she can get into another class with babies with similar age.

Mom's Club
I attended one of their ice cream socials!  The event actually had a decent turn out of 9-10 moms and tons of babies/kids.  Moms were pretty friendly and it was a first time for some moms, so I wasn't the only new one.  It's really nice to have a community like that because we all need support, right?  I really enjoyed talking to moms who had a baby similar to H's age because we could relate so many things.  I found this group from meetup.com.  The internet does make things so much more efficient and I don't know how our moms/grandma made mama friends back in old time!!! 

New Toys
H is 4 months and we could tell she is getting bored with her swing & bouncer, so we purchased new toys!  Excersaucer & Sophia the Girraffe Teether.  The daycare teachers say H loves excersaucer.  I think she is in the beginning of her teething phase because she is dwelling and sucking her fingers a lot.  I've read great review about the Giraffe and some mama said it was one of the best purchases they have made, so we got it.

4 Months Wakeful Period
I was reading about this prior, so I was not surprised when Haley stopped SSTN.  I was hoping that she is such a good girl and wouldn't go through this period, but noooope, she is going through it now.  Around 3 months old, she started SSTN from 9:30ish till 5.  It was awesome.  I still had to get up to pump around 4, but I was pretty happy she was a good sleeper.  Then, she stopped SSTN when she turned 4 months (that's why it's called 4 months wakeful period) and it's still going on for 2 weeks...She would wake up at 2am and then 2 or 3 hours afterwords.  She would usually go right back to sleep after she is fed, but it was nice for me to have a long stretch of sleep.  I am dreaming about being able to sleep for 7 hours straight (maybe after I am done with pumping & her SSTN is back) now, but I am pretty sure I will miss our night time feeding session once it's over because it's so peaceful to hold sleepy Haley in my arm. 

3 Month 2nd Week: Feeling Trapped :(

Me

I am not sure what is going on, but lately, I feel like I am trapped.  I hurry to get out of work and pick my baby up and go home but there are limited things I can do with her....I can play with her or take her in a stroller and walk around the neighborhood.  That is becoming every day routine, but I wish I could go take a yoga class, go riding a bike or meeting friend's for a happy hour.  A lot of things are so limited and I know why, but I am having a hard time adjusting from care-free life to this.  I feel awful to feel this way because having a baby was my dream.   

I cannot go far away too long because I need to pump.  It's a lovely night and will be nice to hang out on a deck, but I cannot enjoy my favorite drink wine because it goes through breast milk.  I need to go to bed early because I have to get up at 4:00 am to pump.  Pumping....pumping....pumping...  It crosses my mind what if I stop pumping now?  I've done this for 3 months and she is darn healthy, so she will do ok with formula only.  Will I regret if I go ahead and stop it now for my own selfish reason?! 

I think I am still going through a baby blue this week :( :( :(

Baby

She cracks me up with her latest laughing / talking voice!!  I don't know where she learned, but she laughs with high voice and she sounds like a Gremlin!!  Is she trying to speak to us?  Is this a normal milestone?? It's just fascinating what she is doing because we didn't teach her that!   

My Baby is a Monster!

3 Months & 1 Week: Bye Bye Swaddle

Swaddle

I read that it's recommended to wean out of swaddle around 3-4 months.  I am glad babycenter.com sent me a weekly reminder because I did not know!  They said a baby should be moving their legs and arms freely around this time even at night.  I was nervous about this because swaddling was part of our nightly routine!!  I was worried that she might not fall a sleep in the crib anymore, but we gotta do it, so we waited until the weekend to execute this mission!

The result was.....SUCCESS!!!  It wasn't bad at all.  We did one arm out on Friday, both arms out on Saturday and no swaddle on Sunday and BAMMM, she was a swaddle free girl!!!  She wiggled a lot and her eyes opened when we did no swaddle, but I was determined to make it work, so I simply left her in the crib and closed her room door.  I watched her little bit on the baby monitor, but she finally gave in and fell asleep :)  I learned that we have to stick to the plan sometimes in order to make something work.  I would usually pick her up and rock her, but not this time and it worked like a magic!      

It's been a couple of days and she does well without being swaddled, but she now wakes up @ 3-3:30 am (It used to be 5:00is).  My guess is that she moves more at night, so she gets hungry???  or moving wakes her up??  It cracks me up and make me a bit nervous when I no longer see her on the baby monitor because she moved to somewhere in the crib!     

Meeting Other Mama

I have been trying to find ways to get connected to other mamas in my area.  I am dying to get to know other moms whom I can share our story of having a baby(s) and raising kids, parenting, etc.  Since I moved to a new area a couple of months ago, I suddenly realized that I don't know people around me much.  I have my own office for work and it has been great, but lately I am craving to talk to other people who have kids.  It was so easy when I was working for a corporate type company because I was always surrounded by people and there were tons of parents in the company, but with my current job, I actually have to get my butt up and find people.  There are a lot of things on my mind after I had a baby and she changes so fast, so I want to talk about it!!!!!  I feel like I am getting a little baby blue.... :(  Go away~ go away Blue~~~

Anyway, I found a couple of mama groups through meetup.com.  I signed up 3 groups so far and am checking their events.  Most of them are during week, so it's a bit tough as I work full time.  Oh, speaking of working, I recently reduced my working days from 5 days to 4 days.  It was really bothering me for a while that I didn't get to spend enough time with my baby.  5 days at daycare and there are only a couple of hours until she goes to bed after I pick up her from her daycare every day.  I am so happy that I will have one full day with her and I can use this day to maybe meet up with other mamas.        

3 Months Old: 3 Months Milestone

Gah, it's been weeks since I wrote the last post! I wrote a new post every week when I was pregnant, but man, my life is busy now!! 

I cannot believe Hayboo turned 3 months!  3 months is a big milestone and I cannot believe how fast time is going by.  She is so much more alert.  I am taking bunch of pictures of her with my iPhone.  I look at them at work sometimes and they make me smile :) 

Here are some of the recent pictures:

Hightlights of her 3 months:
- She smiles a lot but she started laughing!  It's so funny when she does that.
- She started trying to roll over.  She still doesn't being on her tummy too long, but she can lay on her side now.  She gets really frustrated though. 
- Her arm and hand coordination are better.  She is getting better at reaching an object and grabbing. 
- Less BM.  She doesn't have BM all day sometimes, but I know it's normal.  She is gassy sometimes and she hates it!
- She is talkative more!  She coos and talks.  I can tell she is trying to tell me something :)
- Sleeping routine has been established.  We swaddle her and she gets a final feed around 9-9:30, so she is asleep by 10 usually.  She usually sleeps through until 4,5 or 6 am. 

I was struggling a lot to balance my work and baby in the past week, but I found a way to make it more balance and it became a reality.  My company approved my request to work for 4 days a week instead of 5 days, yay!!!  I will be working from Monday through Thursday and I am off on Friday.  I am soooo happy that I can spend the entire day with my baby girl!  My mission is to talk as much as Japanese to her.  I learned that now is the time to start a billingual education and I must speak Japanese to her all the time.  This will be a challenge as my hubby only speaks English, but it's my goal to have her talk to me in Japanese once she gets older.         

BF
I have to say I am proud of myself (and my precious boobs) to be able to give her BM for 3 months!  BF has been such a tough journey, but I made it till 3 months!  I feel like a full time cow and I do respect cows more than ever!!!!  My milk production has been increased after I took Raglan for 3 weeks.  I produce about 30 oz a day with 7 pump sessions usually (Weekday schedule - 8:30am, 11:30am, 2:30pm, 4:30pm, 8:00pm, 11:00pm & 4:30am).  It drove me insane when I tried to pump every 3 hours throughout the night after I returned to work, but I am doing better that I pump at 4:30am only.  I have decent freezer stash to feed her after I am done with BF.  3 more month to go!  

10 Weeks Old

Photoshoot

She had a newborn photo session @ the hospital and the photo company wanted to come to our house for a follow-up shoot.  I didn't expect much and one 8x8 photo was free, so I said yes.  The photographer was nice and he knew how to make a baby laugh and look at camera.  It was nice and convenient for him to come to our house and setup the studio.  I wasn't interested in getting actual photos, but I wanted their digital images.  I had an on-line meeting with an editor followig week and he showed me edited photos as well as collages.  The price for the digital copies weren't cheap....around $300, but I was sold after I saw this photo!!!  His photo style was more traditional and I prefere Kacy's contemporary style, but I couldn't resist not to get this collage.  She is daaaaarrrn cute!!!

Baptism

It's finally booked for 7/27th!!!  She will be 4 months, so she should be a lot more manageable.  The baptism will be after the 4:30 mass, so we will probably attend the mass and then baptism.  The date and time should work out great because it's Saturday and we can have people over to our house for a grill out afterwords :)

Haley's Obsession

She is in love with the bird which hangs down from the car seat!  She used to just stare at it, but she started smiling at it and trying to grab it. For some reason, she likes to look at her right side.  I just bought a new pink hanging toy and hang on the left, but she doesn't even look at it, boo!

Mama's Milk Supply

Not too happy.....I have been recording all my session and reading daily milk production stats, but it's clearly going down :(  I am drinking fenugreek tea, non-alcoholic beer, cookies, etc, but I don't see an improvement, so I called my OB for a prescription.  I started taking a milk booster called Reglan so I hope it helps!!!  I am thinking to supplement some of sessions with formula so that I can freeze my milk for the later use.  BF has been a roller coaster....as soon as I start getting comfortable with pumping, I run into a wall :( 

9 Weeks Old

Learning Learning and Learning!

Wow, a week makes a big difference in a infant phase.  She is more alert and looking at various objects to become more familier with it.  Since she discovered her hands recently, I started noticing she would suck her fist!  I thought she was maybe hungry at first, but looks like it might be just a comfort thing.  I can see her discovering her finger eventually and she will go for it!

She is also talking a lot!  She makes some cute noises as well as big ones!  I am so curious if she will be an active & talkative baby or not. 

It's exciting and sad at the same time, but she is growing out of her current clothes!  I need to dress her cute more often because she won't fit into those cute outfits soon!!

Me 

BPing is getting easier for sure.  I heard that I need to pump 8 times at least to maintain the milk supply, so I have downloaded an iphone app to keep track of my sessions.  My goal is till 6 months because we want to start trying for No.2!  I hope I continue for another couple of months and have decent amount of frozen milk for her to take in the future!

Also....I decided to work from home once a day because I miss her!!!  Today is my first day and I laid out many things like play mat, bouncer, bobby pillow, toys to keep her entertain.  It's a serious multi task job because I gotta work, entertain her and pump!  I like my job and I feel good about earning money, but I think I would like to go part-time when we have the second child. 

Oh!  I have a perfect gift for the father's day coming up!  Joe stepped up and gave me a special mother and daughter letter book for the mother's day, so I had to come up with something unique and special, too.  I am making a special picture story book.  I almost cried making it, so I am sure he will love it!!!

8 Weeks Old

First Sick Time!

We weren't ready for her to get sick so soon.  She has been great and happy baby, so when I saw her watery eyes, coughing & congested on Friday morning, I was concerned.  She sounded pretty bad when I picked her up at daycare.  We were supposed to leave her there for the night for a parent night out, but we decided that we needed to keep our eyes open for her, so we stayed in with her.  I am glad we did because she was miserable :(  Poor little thing couldn't eat because her nose was so stuffed up.  Her face was so yucky and we didn't know what to do, so I called her pedi and got an appointment on Saturday morning.  We were relieved that there was nothing to worry about, but we couldn't do much....because she is too little to take any meds.  I thought she had some sort of allergy from being at SandV night before, but the doctor said, it's probably a mild cold.  We put her in the rocker so that her head could be elavated.  I actually enjoyed having her in the room and she slept pretty well!  This was just a beginning of many more sickness days but as first time parents, we were quite worried about her!!! 

Hands / Leg Move

It's really fascinating to watch her and monitor her development.  She started liking her baby Einstein mat, so it's becoming to have her play there when she gets home from daycare.  I read that a baby doesn't know the existance of her legs and hands in the beginning.  I totally saw that when Haley was just doing her animated move, but I recently noticed the change in her hand movement.  She would look at an object and try to bat at it.  She even grabs the object sometimes!  As for legs, when I hold her straight, she tries to stand on her feet for a little bit.  It is amazing to watch her development and she is only 2 months.    

7 Weeks Old

Monrining routine is getting better.  I try to prepare as much as possible at night. 

She is sleeping through the night!!!!  Well, she usually clusterfeed.  Someday, she sleeps through from 10pm till 5am!!  I am little bit worried about her less feeding amount, but she looks healthy to me.

Pumping.....I feel like a cow.  I am trying to pump as often as possible at work.  I try every 2.5 - 3 at work b/c it can be difficult to do frequently at home, esp. at night.  It's great that Hay is sleeping better now, but I have to make myself wake up to pump in the middle of night to keep my milk production.  It's not easy and I am sleepy, but watching 90210 on Netflix surely helps! I don't get plugged ducts too often like I used to.  I am not sure if Lecithin is working or the frequency of pumping, but I take it!  

Our deck is done!!!  Love it love it!!!  It's so peaceful there and I cannot wait to hang out with Hayboo and animals. 

6 Weeks Old

The time has come.....I went back to work :(
It's so true that time goes by so fast.  I cannot believe it.

I was planning on working from home 2 days a week.....miserably FAIED!  I couldn't do it.  I had my laptop on the kitchen counter and working.  At the same time, I was kicking the bouncer to calm Hayboo.  It was so exhausting.  It wasn't fair for me and it wasn't fair for her.  I was trying to make her sleep all the time when she should get some fun time with me.  I've decided that she goes to daycare 5days a week...

To be honest, I feel alive going back to work.  Yes, I do miss her, but it's nice to just jump into a car and turn up the music.  Hay was so tired the first day back from daycare.  There are 9 babies and a lot of toys, so I am sure she gets so stimulated! 

Getting ready in the morning is hectic!  I don't know when she would wake up and due to lack of sleep, I am tired at work.  However, it's nice to make money. 

I check her all the time online.  I can usually tell which one is Hay b/c of her hair :)

She likes one of the swings daycare has.  The one swings first, so we got a similar one and it has been working!

 

5 Weeks Old

One Month Checkup

I was looking forward to the first pedi checkup because I wanted to make sure that she is a healthy girl!  Her weight was up to 10.5 and she is in the 50% tile, so she is darn average!  She was pretty good in the office and cried only when she was getting a TB shot, but I put her paci right away, so she settled.  I hate seeing her getting vac shots....:(  I know it's necessary, but I am going to take off half day when she has 2 month checkup b/c I heard that those shots are painful.  

What is Going On with Hay?

She still has tons of baby acnes on her face and forehead.  Blisters on her lips are getting better and her feet aren't peeling too much anymore. 

She started spitting!  She spits quite a bit, so it's hard to put her down and change her diaper, so I started putting a bib on her. 

She is growing!!!  We bought infant 0 diapers and they are getting too small for her, so we need to change it to level 1 very soon.  Her clothes, too.  Some onesies and sleepers are too small for her :( 

Sleeping - Wow, she started sleeping longer!  We are giving her a bottle of formula for the last meal of the day and that seems to do the magic.  It does make sense though b/c it's faster to digest BM, so she would get hungry faster. Other day, she slept from 10:30 to 4:30.  That's 6 hrs straight!!!!!  The only problem is that my boobs are so full when I wake up.

Feed - She started taking 2.5oz per feed.  She sometimes doesn't finish it all though and there isn't a set of feeding schedule at this point. 

What is Going On with Mama?

Plugged duct - Oh my goodness.  Challenge never ends with BM!  I get plugged duct so often and I hate it.  It hurts and affects my milk production.  I am glad to know that taking a hot shower for 15 minutes and massage my breasts work to get ride of PD, but it's ridiculous how often they come back.  I feel like wearing the baby wrap causes it, too.  After googling about some prevention, I learned that some women find supplement called Lecithin work, so I went a head to buy it.  It is supposed to thin out milk's thickness.  I have been taking one Lecithin per meal and I think it's working!  My milk production is pretty decent now and I have tons of milk stocks, yay!! 

Pee - My pee used to smell like a maple syrup b/c of the Mother's tea, but lately I noticed that it smells like a cat pee!!  It stinks.  I am not sure if it's my pee or discharge.

OB checkup - I had to take Hayboo to the clinic so I was little nervous, but she didn't have any meltdown!  Everything looks good and my weight is around 107, yay!  I've eating a lot, so this is b/c of pumping.

3 Weeks Old

Sleeping

I am seeing a sleeping trend.  I am not sure how long it will last, but there are times she would sleep for 3 straight hours.  It is quite peaceful when she is in this sleeping mode, so I can get house stuff done!  I should probably catch up with sleep though instead of doing something else.  There are other times where I can tell she is so sleepy but she cannot fall asleep, so she gets fussy.  Poor thing :(

She had been sleeping in our bassinet for a while.  We usually go to bed around midnight and she does good job sleeping for 2-3 hours there, but after she wakes up and eat, she makes all kind of noises, so we cannot sleep! 

To improve our sleeping time (daddy needs to sleep well so that he can bring a bacon and mommy needs to sleep well to take care of little Hay), we setup the baby monitor on the crib on Monday.  Are we sure to let her sleep in the crib already???  Well, we wanted to see how if it works.  The monitor is pretty cool.  I can adjust the camera position and the resolution is pretty good in days and nights.  After our first midnight feeding (around 3am), I put her in the crib and went back to my bedroom.  SUCCESS!  I could see she was sound asleep and didn't hear much of her noises.  She woke up around 6, so I went into the nursery to feed her.

The other problem during our sleep is...Candy.  We gotta do something about her snoring right above our head!!!        

Book

I finished the book called Amber Dusick's Parenting Mas sent me.  I have been reading many books all about babies, but this one was so different.  It has tons of cool illustration and real stories, but they are darn funny!  It made me realized that what I have been going through isn't too bad.  Wait until Haley becomes a toddler and we have to take care his lil sister or brother....

I finally decided to order a book called "The happiest baby in the block".  I heard good things about it, so it was on my wish list, but I finally decided to order one after experiencing Haley can fall asleep in my arm, but as soon as I put her down in the crib, she wakes up.  The book has very interesting theory!  It talks about the reason of Moro reflex and 5s to calm a baby.  5S are Swaddle, Side Way, Shhhhhh, Swing & Suck.  I have been trying it when since she gets a big fussy at night.  I think it works!

Pumping 

I pretty much gave up on nursing even though I bought a nipple shield.  She sucked for a while (made me very happy!) for the first time, but after that, she doesn't like it.  I can tell she is so frustrated and I hate to see that.  You can call me that I am a looser for not trying hard enough, but I know stress does impact my milk production, so I decided a pumping is the way to go for us. 

I used to pump every 1.5 or 2 hrs,but it's quite exhausting and also it only gives me one feed, so I have been pumping every 4 hrs or so.  In this case, my boobs make enough milk and I can usually get 2 feeds (4 oz) in 15 minutes of pumping.  Haley is currently eating about 2 oz per meal.  She eats about every 2 hrs in average, so it's normal.

New Discovery

K'Tan wrap - I finally got it!!  It's really nice because my hands are not tied up with holding her and she seems to be pretty happy baby being near her mommy.  I play internet radio ambiant station and dance around with her!  She loves it and good for my workout ;)

White noise - I thought I had to be always quiet around the baby, but I learned that babies likes noises because that's what they are used to hear while they are in uterus.  I downloaded an app called "Relax M" and she seems to be intrigued by it.  I also tried a hair dryer and kitchen fan.  They calmed Haley down. 

2 Weeks Old

Wow, my baby does something new everyday and there are always something to discover!

Her skin is peeling.  She's got grandma hands and feet, but we are not supposed to put lotion on her, so I hope the new skin comes out soon.  Her skin around the eye lid area peels frequently and her lips, oh my...it looks painful, but she does't mind her blistered lips.

The patio has started!!!  Guys come out everyday and they are making progress.  It already looks nice and I cannot see the finished patio with a deck.  I think it will be warm by the time it's ok for Haley to go outside :)

My company sent her a personalized teddy bear!!!!  One paw says "Haley" and other one says "Sakura".  The bear has tutu and wings.  It's soooo cute!!!!  Thank you, Elysium

New Teddy Bear!

She started doing this "reflect movement".  It usually happens during sleep and it's so cute and funny!  Suddenly, she puts her arms and legs wide open and it looks like a Franken Stein!!!  This is called "Moro or Startle reflex".  According to one source on google, a baby does this to protect herself from harm.  Interesting....

We gave her a first bath!  We thought she was going to cry for sure, but you know what?  She seemed to enjoy the nice warm bath!!  I think the water tempature has to be right and it was.  She was so relaxed and we put her in the Elmo's bath robe!  Too cute!!!  She smelled so nice after the bath and looked really clearn :) 

Comfy~

All clean!!

Mountains of pills.....yes, I am taking so many pills now.  Those pills include: vitamin, omega3,  fenugreek, stool softner & herbal tea.  The total of 17 pills and 3-5 tea a day!!!!  Since I am pumping, all of them are good for my baby, so I will take whatever I need!!

They are good for you, Hay!

It was such a nice & warm day on Saturday.  Haley was only 2 weeks old at this point and I heard that it's good to wait taking her to a public place until a month later, but we couldn't resist to walk her in a stroller.  It was really sunny and we put a soft and warm blanket on her and put up a cover so that she wouldn't get a direct sunlight.  It was just sooooo nice to get out of the house and enjoy the nice day with 3 of us.  I cannot believe that we now have an addition to our family.  It was so peaceful to walk our neighborhood and we are so happy!!

Let's enjoy the sunny day!

It was Joe's mom's BD dinner, so we went over to his parents house.  It was so much fun because Parker/Anderson/Emery were all there!!!  They loved the baby.  Parker and Anderson kept saying how cute Haley was.  Emery was so funny.  She had a little doll and trying to put Haley's diaper on the doll!!!  She is so active and has an amazing personality :)  After talking to Heidi, I learned that a nipple shield might help BF, so we went to go get one from Medela. I was excited to try to see if Haley latches the shield and she DID!!!  I had never seen her latching for that long time.  She is getting my milk via pump, but it will be nice if I have an option to nurse or pump, so I will have to keep trying.  BTW, we introduced her to a pacifier on Sunday.  She loves it and it works like a magic!!!!

Happy girl~

Day 8: Happy Easter & Cluster Feeding

Easter this year started as a wet morning.  We were supposed to go to Joe's parents house for Easter dinner.  We found this adorable pink premee outfit for her Easter visit and she looked sooooo cute in it!!!

It was kind of nice to get out of the house.  It was my first time to use a diper bag, so I was hoping I didn't forget anything important!  I put 2 bottles just in case she gets hungry....

Speaking of hungry......we think that she is going through the famous cluster feeding stage.  She used to eat every 2 hours, but she got really fussy and wants to eat more as soon as we fed her.  This threw us off because we didn't want to overfeed her.  I was reading the baby book and they suggested to feed her whenever she wants, so that's what we are doing.  Oh, my milk production has increase!!!!  I don't know if it's the herb or my body trying to adjust to the baby's demand, but I am so happy that I am getting more milk now.  I am not sure if my boobs can keep up with the cluster feeding demand, but I am taking the herb and drinking tea all the time.  I am also pumping more, so I hope all of my effort helps in the end!

Other thing we are a bit worried about....she pees pretty much everytime when we change her diaper, but no poop.  I googled this and looks like some babies can go for a long time without pooping (The one girl said her baby didn't poo for 14 days!!)  We have a pedi appointment on Tuesday, so we will bring this up to the physician.   

Oh, by the way, Haley started smiling!!!!!  It's not intentional but she does give me a smily face sometimes and it just puts me a big smile on me.  She changes so much rapidly and I am certainly amused by all the changes :)

Happy Easter!

      

Day 7: Happy One Week Birthday!!

I cannot believe she is now a week old!!!  I felt like it was such a survival week, but we did survive.  Haley seems more calm and I think it's because she is eating well now.  She sleeps a lot and wiggle.  She is darn cute!!!!  When she is awake, I just melt when I see her big eyes.  I think she can recognize me somewhat.  I am tyring to do skin-to-skin as much as possible and I absolutely love the bonding time with her. 

She slept decent (2-3 straight) at night, so maybe she is a perfect little girl!  When I was pregnant with her, she always slept when I was asleep and she was awake when I was awake.  Are we lucky enought to get the same routine????  Let's see....

Day 6: Miracle Herb - Fenugreek

The lactation consultant told me about this herb which can help produce more breast milk yesterday.  I forgot to write down the name of it, but she said I can get it at GMC vitamin store.

I remembered that my friend was talking about this herb because she was having an issue with producing enough milk.  She said the herb made her smell like maple syrup.  I haven't talked to her since she came to the hospital, so I called and told her all the crazy past few days.  I asked her about the herb and she said "It's called Fenugreek and you have to take 12 capsules a day.  Also, you have to drink this herb tea 3-5 times a day on the top of the capsules."  She stopped by in the afternoon and gave me all the left over from her try.  It was so nice to see her, husband & their 6 months old baby.  Their baby has grown so much and I cannot wait for our babies to play together!!!    

Day 5: Lactation Consultant

It was a rough night and both of us are so exhausted.  I was actually dreading this day.  I was so scared that the lactation nurse will tell me that I am doing everything wrong and I have to keep BF every 30 minutes.  However, at the same time, I wanted to know what she can do to help us. 

She was very nice and had a nice smile when we met her at the pediatrician office.  She saw how I was BF and how Haley was responding.  After she witnessed how our BF was going, she asked me "What would you like to accomplish with BF?"  I told her "I would like to continue giving her my milk, but I am just so worried that I am not producing enough milk and also my baby is loosing too much weight already.  I would like to use formula, but would like to give her my milk as much as I can pump.  She agreed.  A huge weight was lifted from my shoulder at this moment.  I was so glad that I could take a plan B and feed her as she deserves to get to the normal weight. 

I was finally in good mood.  I was determined to pump as often as I can to give my little baby as much as breast milk.       

Day 4: First Pedi Visit

We were anxious to have our pediatrician look at Haley's condition.  She doesn't appear to be sick, but we wanted to make sure if she is getting better and her jaundice level has gone down. 

A nurse told us that she lost 1 pound since the original birth weight.  This isnt't good at all.  Most babies lose weight a couple of days after the birth, but the average loss is 7% - 10%.  She lost 1 pound from her birth weight of 7.1, so she lost 14%.  Not good.  They also took her blood to test the jaundice level.  I cried while they are taking her blood from her feet because she screamed and cried. 

I told the nurse about my struggle with BF.  Unfortunately, the lactation nurse wasn't in today, so my nurse spoke with her on the phone.  I was told to stick to the BF and no formula supplement until the follow-up appointment with the lactation nurse the following day.  Ugh....it will be a tough day for sure.

Yup, it was a mentally and physically exhausted day.  Haley screams top of her head when I tried to make her latch.  She can only latch for 10 seconds and gives up.  I pumped as much as possible, but my milk production is not enough.  I was only getting 10 ml per pump, but that was the only thing I could give to her.  My head hurts and I feel like I hit the rock bottom.    

   

Day 3: Leaving the Hospital (Maybe)

It started snowing pretty bad on Monday morning as the weather forecast predicted.  We were anxious to go home, but was worried about driving home in this weather.  Moreover, we were very concerned about Haley's wellbeing.  The level of jaundice went up and we had no choice but to use a supplement with a formula.  My body hurt and I could only move slowly.  I felt like a failure, but at the same time, I was glad that Haley was getting some food in her. 

A doctor came in and told us that she wanted us to stay one more extra day to monitor Haley, but my insurance declined to pay for the extra stay, so she told us to book an appointment with her pediatrician.

A photographer stopped at our room to take some pictures of Haley.  I knew it was going to cost us, but I wanted to see how it turns out.  Actually, she did good job!  I had no make-up and was so exhausted, so my picture with her is horrible, but she is darn cute!!!!

Hayboo with Daddy

I really thought staff at the hospital was amazing.  I felt really good and would like to use the same place for the next baby.  We were discharged and left around 5pm, so we hit some rush hour.  I was so excited to see our house and come home to the home sweet home!!!  Joe went into the house first to make our dog Candy sniff the baby blanket Haley was in.  When we brought Hay in the house, Candy didn't go crazy, so I was glad.  We still have to monitor our 3 pets to see how they react to the newborn.  I am hoping they will be cuddling with Haley someday... 

Day 2: Second Day After the Baby was Born

Since Haley was born late Saturday night, it was well past midnight by the time we got taken to the family unit at the hospital.  My body was getting really tired and I could feel the epi was getting worn out a little.  I really wanted to sleep and although I was hungry, I had to try breast feeding her.  Haley cried and cried.  I was assisted with a breast pump to see if colostrum milk was present, but I saw nothing.  BF was harder than I thought and she woke up crying every 5 min that night.  She was like a contraction 5 min apart!!  Joe slept on the couch bed, but we didn't get any sleep at all. 

A nurse came into the room every hour or 2 to check on Haley.  Since one of my feet were still numb, I had to have nurses support me to go to bath room.  I didn't feel any pain, but oh my....I was bleeding heavily.  The "sexy" gigantic pantie, pad & ice pack were all new to me, but so necessary for a recovery.

Even though I was so exhausted from the labor and lack of sleep, I couldn't take eyes off from Haley when we did skin-to-skin contact.  This is my baby who was in my belly for 10 months and I am finally holding her.  The feeling was just surreal. 

A doctor came into the room in the morning to check on Haley.  He said, "She might develop a jaundice because she didn't inherit mother's blood type, so we will be monitoring her closely.  The best way to get rid of a jaundice is to breast feed as much as you can.  It will get worse in a day or 2.  The jaundice will make her sleepy and she wouldn't eat at all which will cause her to dehydrate"  I've heard about a jaundice, but I had no ideas what it really is and a blood type can cause an issue, so I looked it up on google.

Blood group incompatibility (Rh or ABO problems): if a baby has a different blood type than the mother, the mother might produce antibodies that destroy the infant's red blood cells. This creates a sudden buildup of bilirubin in the baby's blood. Incompatibility jaundice can begin as early as the first day of life. Rh problems once caused the most severe form of jaundice. 

When I learned this, I couldn't stop crying.  I know it was not my fault, but I felt like I was hurting her and it was my lack of BF skills that she might get really sick.  I had a serious meltdown on day 2.  A nurse / lactation consultant came in many times to coach me on BF, but Haley screamed and didn't latch.  I also know no colostrum was coming out, so what baby wants to be breast fed?!?!  I don't remember being this emotional in an exhausted condition in my life.  I really thought I was going to break down at day 2 of my daughter's birth.  Joe kept encouraging me and told me it wasn't my fault, but I felt so responsible for causing this and couldn't stop blaming myself.                

Day 1: My Little Cherry Blossom's Arrival

Haley Sakura Borchelt was born on her due date of March 23rd, 2013 at 10:22 pm on Saturday at Christ hospital in Cincinnati, OH. 

She was a healthy girl weighing 7 pounds 1 oz and 19.5 inch long. 

We have been waiting for her arrival for a long time and are over the moon to finally meet our little cherry blossom baby!!!!!  Welcome to the world!!!



Hello, Haley Sakura!!