4 Months 4 Weeks: Weaning

First of all, my baby is almost 5 months, Wow!
Where did the time go????  My iphone is now full of her pictures.  I was looking at pictures when she was born and the first months.  She has changed so much and I cannot remember how small she was because she is pretty big now!

Lately, I am hearing "Tick..tack...tick...tack"
Yes, weaning off breastfeeding.  I am getting so closed to the target 6 month mark.  I know it's absolutely NOT to go cold turkey on this one.  The process has to go gradually because of the discomfort I will be experiencing as I wean off.  Like many other women, I am having a hard time on this.  I wish my body decided that it was about time to dry out, so my production goes down.  Not a bit....I am currently pumping 5 sessions and producing about 27 oz, which covers Haley's daily milk intake.

Here are the thoughts I am struggling...

- Some women have troubles with their production and do as much as they can to keep or increase their milk supply but I am PURPOSELY going to dry out my milk production.
- Once it's gone, it is GONE.  Even though I could never "breast-feed" my baby, I could still provide my liquid gold to my baby and she has grown so much.

As much as I complain about pumping / waking up at night to pump, it's a big transition from my routine.  I felt really connected to and responsible for my baby girl by feeding my milk.  If I wasn't over 35, didn't have IF issue and didn't want another kid, I probably would have try BF as long as I could.  We want to start TTC #2.  We are assuming it will take sometimes for me to get pregnant or have to go through a fertility treatment again, so we cannot wait too long.  I have about a month to wean off breast milk and I am hoping I can keep thinking about all the positive things this will bring to us.

I need to write down all the positives this will bring to overcome my anxiety.

• A sibling for Haley!!
• Sleeping through the night (Not the baby, MEEEEE!)
• No need to be glued to the black pumping bag.
• No more washing pumping parts.
• I can drink!  
• I can do high impact exercise such as running.  
• No need for padding. 
• I can wear my old cute bras.

I reduced one lunch session from today, so I will be pumping only 4 times and I will reduce more as the week go.  Please please please let the process go smooth without feeling too much guilt.