4 Months 4 Weeks: Weaning

First of all, my baby is almost 5 months, Wow!
Where did the time go????  My iphone is now full of her pictures.  I was looking at pictures when she was born and the first months.  She has changed so much and I cannot remember how small she was because she is pretty big now!

Lately, I am hearing "Tick..tack...tick...tack"
Yes, weaning off breastfeeding.  I am getting so closed to the target 6 month mark.  I know it's absolutely NOT to go cold turkey on this one.  The process has to go gradually because of the discomfort I will be experiencing as I wean off.  Like many other women, I am having a hard time on this.  I wish my body decided that it was about time to dry out, so my production goes down.  Not a bit....I am currently pumping 5 sessions and producing about 27 oz, which covers Haley's daily milk intake.

Here are the thoughts I am struggling...

- Some women have troubles with their production and do as much as they can to keep or increase their milk supply but I am PURPOSELY going to dry out my milk production.
- Once it's gone, it is GONE.  Even though I could never "breast-feed" my baby, I could still provide my liquid gold to my baby and she has grown so much.

As much as I complain about pumping / waking up at night to pump, it's a big transition from my routine.  I felt really connected to and responsible for my baby girl by feeding my milk.  If I wasn't over 35, didn't have IF issue and didn't want another kid, I probably would have try BF as long as I could.  We want to start TTC #2.  We are assuming it will take sometimes for me to get pregnant or have to go through a fertility treatment again, so we cannot wait too long.  I have about a month to wean off breast milk and I am hoping I can keep thinking about all the positive things this will bring to us.

I need to write down all the positives this will bring to overcome my anxiety.

• A sibling for Haley!!
• Sleeping through the night (Not the baby, MEEEEE!)
• No need to be glued to the black pumping bag.
• No more washing pumping parts.
• I can drink!  
• I can do high impact exercise such as running.  
• No need for padding. 
• I can wear my old cute bras.

I reduced one lunch session from today, so I will be pumping only 4 times and I will reduce more as the week go.  Please please please let the process go smooth without feeling too much guilt.  

4 Months & 2 Weeks: Baptism and Many Other Things

I am so past due for my blog post and my baby is already 4 months!

Baptism
I am proud to announce my little Christian baby :)  A decision on choosing god parents were not easy, but we choose my sister in law and her DH.  She was so thrilled to be a god mother, so I hope they can help Haley in her christian faith.  The baptism went really well and she did amazing.  I was stressed out about it because so many things went wrong....the baptism time changed due to the church festival, a cater showed up with his food a week before the party, etc, but many people showed up for her and I say the ceremony and the party was success!!

Baby Classes
We signed up for a music & gymboree classes!!  It's so nice to find a class where we can do it together.  The music class is a lot of fun and I can already sing some of their songs!  I try to play the music CD while we are in the car, so I am wondering if H recognizes some by now.  There are so many different gymboree classes offered, but unfortunately, the one for babies is offered during weekday and I am at work, so we have been taking a family one which consists of all age range.  I met some moms there, but the class size is too big and not really suitable for a baby, so I hope she can get into another class with babies with similar age.

Mom's Club
I attended one of their ice cream socials!  The event actually had a decent turn out of 9-10 moms and tons of babies/kids.  Moms were pretty friendly and it was a first time for some moms, so I wasn't the only new one.  It's really nice to have a community like that because we all need support, right?  I really enjoyed talking to moms who had a baby similar to H's age because we could relate so many things.  I found this group from meetup.com.  The internet does make things so much more efficient and I don't know how our moms/grandma made mama friends back in old time!!! 

New Toys
H is 4 months and we could tell she is getting bored with her swing & bouncer, so we purchased new toys!  Excersaucer & Sophia the Girraffe Teether.  The daycare teachers say H loves excersaucer.  I think she is in the beginning of her teething phase because she is dwelling and sucking her fingers a lot.  I've read great review about the Giraffe and some mama said it was one of the best purchases they have made, so we got it.

4 Months Wakeful Period
I was reading about this prior, so I was not surprised when Haley stopped SSTN.  I was hoping that she is such a good girl and wouldn't go through this period, but noooope, she is going through it now.  Around 3 months old, she started SSTN from 9:30ish till 5.  It was awesome.  I still had to get up to pump around 4, but I was pretty happy she was a good sleeper.  Then, she stopped SSTN when she turned 4 months (that's why it's called 4 months wakeful period) and it's still going on for 2 weeks...She would wake up at 2am and then 2 or 3 hours afterwords.  She would usually go right back to sleep after she is fed, but it was nice for me to have a long stretch of sleep.  I am dreaming about being able to sleep for 7 hours straight (maybe after I am done with pumping & her SSTN is back) now, but I am pretty sure I will miss our night time feeding session once it's over because it's so peaceful to hold sleepy Haley in my arm. 

3 Month 2nd Week: Feeling Trapped :(

Me

I am not sure what is going on, but lately, I feel like I am trapped.  I hurry to get out of work and pick my baby up and go home but there are limited things I can do with her....I can play with her or take her in a stroller and walk around the neighborhood.  That is becoming every day routine, but I wish I could go take a yoga class, go riding a bike or meeting friend's for a happy hour.  A lot of things are so limited and I know why, but I am having a hard time adjusting from care-free life to this.  I feel awful to feel this way because having a baby was my dream.   

I cannot go far away too long because I need to pump.  It's a lovely night and will be nice to hang out on a deck, but I cannot enjoy my favorite drink wine because it goes through breast milk.  I need to go to bed early because I have to get up at 4:00 am to pump.  Pumping....pumping....pumping...  It crosses my mind what if I stop pumping now?  I've done this for 3 months and she is darn healthy, so she will do ok with formula only.  Will I regret if I go ahead and stop it now for my own selfish reason?! 

I think I am still going through a baby blue this week :( :( :(

Baby

She cracks me up with her latest laughing / talking voice!!  I don't know where she learned, but she laughs with high voice and she sounds like a Gremlin!!  Is she trying to speak to us?  Is this a normal milestone?? It's just fascinating what she is doing because we didn't teach her that!   

My Baby is a Monster!

3 Months & 1 Week: Bye Bye Swaddle

Swaddle

I read that it's recommended to wean out of swaddle around 3-4 months.  I am glad babycenter.com sent me a weekly reminder because I did not know!  They said a baby should be moving their legs and arms freely around this time even at night.  I was nervous about this because swaddling was part of our nightly routine!!  I was worried that she might not fall a sleep in the crib anymore, but we gotta do it, so we waited until the weekend to execute this mission!

The result was.....SUCCESS!!!  It wasn't bad at all.  We did one arm out on Friday, both arms out on Saturday and no swaddle on Sunday and BAMMM, she was a swaddle free girl!!!  She wiggled a lot and her eyes opened when we did no swaddle, but I was determined to make it work, so I simply left her in the crib and closed her room door.  I watched her little bit on the baby monitor, but she finally gave in and fell asleep :)  I learned that we have to stick to the plan sometimes in order to make something work.  I would usually pick her up and rock her, but not this time and it worked like a magic!      

It's been a couple of days and she does well without being swaddled, but she now wakes up @ 3-3:30 am (It used to be 5:00is).  My guess is that she moves more at night, so she gets hungry???  or moving wakes her up??  It cracks me up and make me a bit nervous when I no longer see her on the baby monitor because she moved to somewhere in the crib!     

Meeting Other Mama

I have been trying to find ways to get connected to other mamas in my area.  I am dying to get to know other moms whom I can share our story of having a baby(s) and raising kids, parenting, etc.  Since I moved to a new area a couple of months ago, I suddenly realized that I don't know people around me much.  I have my own office for work and it has been great, but lately I am craving to talk to other people who have kids.  It was so easy when I was working for a corporate type company because I was always surrounded by people and there were tons of parents in the company, but with my current job, I actually have to get my butt up and find people.  There are a lot of things on my mind after I had a baby and she changes so fast, so I want to talk about it!!!!!  I feel like I am getting a little baby blue.... :(  Go away~ go away Blue~~~

Anyway, I found a couple of mama groups through meetup.com.  I signed up 3 groups so far and am checking their events.  Most of them are during week, so it's a bit tough as I work full time.  Oh, speaking of working, I recently reduced my working days from 5 days to 4 days.  It was really bothering me for a while that I didn't get to spend enough time with my baby.  5 days at daycare and there are only a couple of hours until she goes to bed after I pick up her from her daycare every day.  I am so happy that I will have one full day with her and I can use this day to maybe meet up with other mamas.        

3 Months Old: 3 Months Milestone

Gah, it's been weeks since I wrote the last post! I wrote a new post every week when I was pregnant, but man, my life is busy now!! 

I cannot believe Hayboo turned 3 months!  3 months is a big milestone and I cannot believe how fast time is going by.  She is so much more alert.  I am taking bunch of pictures of her with my iPhone.  I look at them at work sometimes and they make me smile :) 

Here are some of the recent pictures:

Hightlights of her 3 months:
- She smiles a lot but she started laughing!  It's so funny when she does that.
- She started trying to roll over.  She still doesn't being on her tummy too long, but she can lay on her side now.  She gets really frustrated though. 
- Her arm and hand coordination are better.  She is getting better at reaching an object and grabbing. 
- Less BM.  She doesn't have BM all day sometimes, but I know it's normal.  She is gassy sometimes and she hates it!
- She is talkative more!  She coos and talks.  I can tell she is trying to tell me something :)
- Sleeping routine has been established.  We swaddle her and she gets a final feed around 9-9:30, so she is asleep by 10 usually.  She usually sleeps through until 4,5 or 6 am. 

I was struggling a lot to balance my work and baby in the past week, but I found a way to make it more balance and it became a reality.  My company approved my request to work for 4 days a week instead of 5 days, yay!!!  I will be working from Monday through Thursday and I am off on Friday.  I am soooo happy that I can spend the entire day with my baby girl!  My mission is to talk as much as Japanese to her.  I learned that now is the time to start a billingual education and I must speak Japanese to her all the time.  This will be a challenge as my hubby only speaks English, but it's my goal to have her talk to me in Japanese once she gets older.         

BF
I have to say I am proud of myself (and my precious boobs) to be able to give her BM for 3 months!  BF has been such a tough journey, but I made it till 3 months!  I feel like a full time cow and I do respect cows more than ever!!!!  My milk production has been increased after I took Raglan for 3 weeks.  I produce about 30 oz a day with 7 pump sessions usually (Weekday schedule - 8:30am, 11:30am, 2:30pm, 4:30pm, 8:00pm, 11:00pm & 4:30am).  It drove me insane when I tried to pump every 3 hours throughout the night after I returned to work, but I am doing better that I pump at 4:30am only.  I have decent freezer stash to feed her after I am done with BF.  3 more month to go!  

10 Weeks Old

Photoshoot

She had a newborn photo session @ the hospital and the photo company wanted to come to our house for a follow-up shoot.  I didn't expect much and one 8x8 photo was free, so I said yes.  The photographer was nice and he knew how to make a baby laugh and look at camera.  It was nice and convenient for him to come to our house and setup the studio.  I wasn't interested in getting actual photos, but I wanted their digital images.  I had an on-line meeting with an editor followig week and he showed me edited photos as well as collages.  The price for the digital copies weren't cheap....around $300, but I was sold after I saw this photo!!!  His photo style was more traditional and I prefere Kacy's contemporary style, but I couldn't resist not to get this collage.  She is daaaaarrrn cute!!!

Baptism

It's finally booked for 7/27th!!!  She will be 4 months, so she should be a lot more manageable.  The baptism will be after the 4:30 mass, so we will probably attend the mass and then baptism.  The date and time should work out great because it's Saturday and we can have people over to our house for a grill out afterwords :)

Haley's Obsession

She is in love with the bird which hangs down from the car seat!  She used to just stare at it, but she started smiling at it and trying to grab it. For some reason, she likes to look at her right side.  I just bought a new pink hanging toy and hang on the left, but she doesn't even look at it, boo!

Mama's Milk Supply

Not too happy.....I have been recording all my session and reading daily milk production stats, but it's clearly going down :(  I am drinking fenugreek tea, non-alcoholic beer, cookies, etc, but I don't see an improvement, so I called my OB for a prescription.  I started taking a milk booster called Reglan so I hope it helps!!!  I am thinking to supplement some of sessions with formula so that I can freeze my milk for the later use.  BF has been a roller coaster....as soon as I start getting comfortable with pumping, I run into a wall :( 

9 Weeks Old

Learning Learning and Learning!

Wow, a week makes a big difference in a infant phase.  She is more alert and looking at various objects to become more familier with it.  Since she discovered her hands recently, I started noticing she would suck her fist!  I thought she was maybe hungry at first, but looks like it might be just a comfort thing.  I can see her discovering her finger eventually and she will go for it!

She is also talking a lot!  She makes some cute noises as well as big ones!  I am so curious if she will be an active & talkative baby or not. 

It's exciting and sad at the same time, but she is growing out of her current clothes!  I need to dress her cute more often because she won't fit into those cute outfits soon!!

Me 

BPing is getting easier for sure.  I heard that I need to pump 8 times at least to maintain the milk supply, so I have downloaded an iphone app to keep track of my sessions.  My goal is till 6 months because we want to start trying for No.2!  I hope I continue for another couple of months and have decent amount of frozen milk for her to take in the future!

Also....I decided to work from home once a day because I miss her!!!  Today is my first day and I laid out many things like play mat, bouncer, bobby pillow, toys to keep her entertain.  It's a serious multi task job because I gotta work, entertain her and pump!  I like my job and I feel good about earning money, but I think I would like to go part-time when we have the second child. 

Oh!  I have a perfect gift for the father's day coming up!  Joe stepped up and gave me a special mother and daughter letter book for the mother's day, so I had to come up with something unique and special, too.  I am making a special picture story book.  I almost cried making it, so I am sure he will love it!!!